gdoc : https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-7BKhpqQrJ0uAlPVCDH7OU9gRRTWnxbfXgY1F9d4Bpc/edit?usp=sharing
Journeyer Yes / No / Maybe response list from Menu of Spaceholding Offerings
In general how much personal space do you prefer?
Might this change in this context as we get to know each other?
What are your hard boundaries {eg. no sexual contact, no stimulation of genitals}?
Circle the role{s} you would like the spaceholder to take on in the list below, denoting any that are primary by underlining them. Cross out, X, or write ‘No’ on any roles or interventions you are sure you do not want the spaceholder to engage.
Write down your interest in any particular role or intervention on a 1-10 scale, including the context in which they would appreciate that technique or frame being used {eg. if I am becoming frightened, if I start to enter a negative thought loop, etc.}, and if the action is conditional {eg. only hold my hand if I extend it outward and ask you to}.
Any intervention that is neutral feel free to mark as maybe. If you do not know all of the specific contexts you would prefer an intervention be used, you can choose to write ‘trust’ to indicate placing faith in the Spaceholder to determine a reasonable and appropriate context to use the intervention.
Spaceholder Style // Roles // Form :
Nonphysical Neutral Passive Presence
1. Impartial Silent witness
Focus : ‘bodywatching’ the Journeyer’s physical wellbeing, tripsitting, babysitting, passive presence.
Emergency reality anchor who can act as a sounding board if you fear for your wellbeing.
{eg. you would like to call an ambulance because your heart is beating loudly and you think you are in a medical emergency, but your Spaceholder listens to your pulse and determines it is within a normal range}.
Information to provide : emergency contact information, allergies, location of medications necessary to manage an allergic reaction {eg. epinephrine or an Epi-pen}, relevant medical conditions and personal / biological family psychological history.
Areas of Inquiry :
In what contexts would you want the Spaceholder to ‘break’ neutrality and intervene ?
Potential medical emergency {depressed breathing, heart rate, other troublesome physical signs}
Physical agitation / distress
Risk reduction {if you are shivering they would recommend putting on more clothes…if you are sweating profusely and have not been drinking water, they would recommend it}
If you seem concerned about your well being {eg. my heart is going to explode} would you want your spaceholder to :
Take your blood pressure
Give you electrolytes
In what situations would you want them to reach out to your emergency contacts by phone and connect you to them {eg. extreme fear, existential dread, feeling unlovable, etc.}? Who in what instance?
2. Reality reflector / anchor
Focus : consensus reality anchor. When asked : sharing the ‘clock time’ and other ‘default reality’ or baseline facts about the shared environment.
Areas of Inquiry :
How strongly do you want to be oriented toward the ‘objective’ perspective?
Would you rather your Spaceholder be curious about why something is important to you {eg. what does the purple dragon you are seeing symbolize or evoke in you?} or be pragmatically oriented towards ‘consensus’ reality {eg. I am not seeing a purple dragon}?
3. Researcher
Focus : researching the ally / compound being ingested, making recommendations as to wise fit depending on the intention, writing out knowledge of the standard/average dose/duration curve of the experience, sharing if the Journeyer is at peak, advice on re-dosing
Information needed : weight of Journeyer, their muscle mass, fat/muscle density, how hydrated the Journeyer is, whether they have been fasting, if they are female-bodied / taking hormones – what phase of their hormone / menstrual cycle they are in, what time of day it is, any other supplements the Journeyer is taking.
Area of Inquiry :
Are you interested in the potential for re-dosing?
Do you want to be informed if a specific experience you are having is likely due to the substance you ingested {eg. visuals, euphoria}?
Do you wish to be reminded of approximately where you might be in the arc of the experience?
4. Nature Guide / Transport
Focus : Researching natural places nearby, knowing how to walk to them or operate the vehicle to get there, and orienteering skills such as using a compass or a map to ensure ease of returning to an indoor home base.
Areas of Inquiry :
What type of bioregions resonate with you?
Are there any natural settings that may be challenging you would like to avoid?
Approximately how long are you likely to want to be in nature {eg. a multi-hour hike or a short walk}?
How physically active are you interested in being {eg. strenuous uphill hike requiring hiking boots, or leisurely swinging in a hammock or exploring a riverbank slowly}?
5. Documenter / Recorder
Focus : gathering data points, taking handwritten notes, utilizing a voice recorder or video recorder if requested.
Areas of Inquiry :
Do you want notes to be taken at the will of the Spaceholder or do you only want them taken if you specifically request them?
Would you prefer being more on the scale of passively gathering external data points or asking follow-up questions if there is a connection to your stated intentions?
Do you want your session audio or video recorded in its entirety?
Do you want particularly salient moments to be potentially audio or video recorded {eg. when a clarifying breakthrough moment is happening, during a physical catharsis}?
Would you like before / after photos taken?
Would you like catharsis photos taken?
6. Body Barometer
Focus : Spaceholder announcing their needs and inviting the Journeyer to join them in relieving them.
Areas of inquiry :
Do you want your Spaceholder to offer solutions to embodied needs, such as food, water, a change in clothing, opening a window, going outside, turning up/down the music, room temperature, sun exposure, biting insects, the brightness of light, ambient noises, stuffiness of air in the room, etc. ?
For example would delf-disclosures and asks such as the following from the Spaceholder be welcome :
I notice I am feeling a bit chilly as the sun has set, and am going to go get my sweater, want me to get your coat for you?
I am feeling thirsty and notice that you have not drunk anything in the past two hours, can I get you a glass of your beverage of choice while I get some water for myself?
I am noticing that the humming of the dryer is distracting me and putting me a bit on edge, can I turn it off while we are in this room?
I am really needing to go to the bathroom, do you need to go too?
The following roles are on the more active side of the spectrum :
7. Narrator
Focus : analyzing / calling attention to what is happening as it happens
Areas of inquiry :
In what types of scenarios would you like a more passive Spaceholding witness to break the silence?
At what level do you prefer your Spaceholder to engage – merely as a mentioning or as a more involved inquiry with follow up questions?
For example :
If the Spaceholder notices you are tense in your body {such as balling up your fists or holding yourself in a rigid manner}, do you want them to neutrally mention this physical reaction to bring it to your attention ? Do you want them to wait a certain amount of time before mentioning it {eg. 3 minutes} or to immediately verbalize what they are witnessing in the moment?
Do you want your Spaceholder to ask questions about such somatic signals {a more proactive probing presence}? How often would you like this information – approximately – every 5 minutes, 15 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour, or whenever there is a prominent shift? {Feel free to change your mind anytime during the session and express your emergent preferences, this is just a starting point to allow your Spaceholder to understand how important pointing out this data is to you.}
Crossing into the territory of benefit enhancement : Would you welcome suggestions for your comfort or physical wellbeing, for example, if you have not drunk water in many hours, do you want your Spaceholder to make a recommendation towards hydration? Would you like your Spaceholder to fetch you the water?
On a more involved therapeutic inquiry side, would you want your Spacholder to : ask why you might be exhibiting a certain physical behavior, in curious questions mode? Would you be served by your Spaceholder noticing details, pointing out patterns, or making suggestions of possible connections between aspects of your past / old patterns / current behaviors?
On the furthest side of the interaction / involvement spectrum, would you like your Spaceholder to aid you in helping you create a new narrative or story in the moment, or co-creating a new pattern that they then subsequently encourage?
Benefit Enhancement Active Presence
8. BE {Benefit Enhancement} Pro-Active Presencing : reducing suffering
Focus : reducing suffering, reading the energy of the Journeyer, and intervening when the Spaceholder senses the Journeyer’s discomfort in the situation could be minimized or ameliorated by the Spaceholder making an offer.
Areas of inquiry :
Would you appreciate your Spaceholder :
changing the environment – turning the thermostat up if the Journeyer is shivering, providing blankets, changing / turning down the music if the Journeyer is covering their ears and curling up, asking others who are being loud within earshot to reduce their volume or move farther away.
fetching items – blanket, coat, robe
if the Journeyer is changing positions in a way that may be indicating physical discomfort, the Spaceholder can offer to create a more comfortable nest with additional pillows / squish / fluff.
Offering a beverage or warm tea if it has been a while since the Journeyer drank or relieved themselves.
9. Guiding : Active Positive Presence { Maximum Benefit Enhancement }
Focus : actively shaping the Journeyer’s experience in an involved manner, especially when in alignment with the Journeyer’s stated intention.
Areas of Inquiry :
Do you want your Spaceholder to :
Draw parallels between your history / past patterns and what is occurring currently
Interrupt a negative thought loop
Interrupt self-criticism
Model a replacement self-respect phrase
Offer active narration into self-soothing techniques
Offer grounding pressure or techniques
Guided visualizations
‘earthing’ – placing bare feet on damp soil
Making proactive suggestions such as : going outside, turning down / changing the music / lighting, changing the temperature, clothing changes, applying a weighted / warm blanket, proposing a specific activity such as shared humming, and listing potential activities there are supplies for {different music playlists, artmaking supplies}.
Specific Active Techniques can include :
Live medicine music
Spaceholder shares the medicine / folk songs of their lineage {eg. Lithuanian folk songs, South American medicine songs, drumming, holding a beat}.
Offering sound healing : tuning forks / singing bowls / gongs.
Do you want your Spaceholder to steer you back to your intention from distraction {eg. you are speaking about celebrity gossip or a TV show in a way that is disconnected fro your intention or previous processes}?
Do you want your Spaceholder to offer immediate integration reminders, such as making special notes of the behaviors and statements that tie back into the intention?
10. Therapeutic / Trained Role
Focus : offering the framework of your style of practice, healing modality, or therapeutic training.
These methods may take the form of : energy work {such as Reiki}, musical / artistic offerings {such as sharing medicine songs, guiding the Journeyer in art therapy or expressive arts therapy}, psychological support {such as via Hakomi, Internal Family Systems, or transpersonally-oriented therapy}.
Areas of Inquiry : As the milieu of techniques is large and will be unique to every Spacehoder / practitioner, they can be listed manually below :
Consent for Touch + Supportive Contact :
Touching someone in a sensitive or heightened state of awareness can have the possibility of being misinterpreted as a sexual signal, especially in states of increased energy and blood flow. Having at least a three-stage and more optimal four-stage consent system is paramount whenever possible.
Do you want your Spaceholder to use the following consent steps :
The first stage utilizes a ‘take-home’ yes / no / maybe checklist before the session {which you are reading currently}. To reduce the likelihood of a fawn / caretaking response by the Journeyer it is recommended that they fill the list out when not in the physical presence of the Spaceholder.
The second stage is a refining in-person conversation between Spaceholder and Journeyer to review the written guidelines the Journeyer has put forth to align on details.
The third stage is asking the day of, before the session, how the Journeyer feels about any particular touch intervention {as their level of tenderness or vulnerability can change depending on where they are at in their hormone cycle and what they have lived through recently}.
The fourth stage would be to ask if touch is ok in the moments before contact during the session.
At each stage of this process, the Spaceholder should be watching for somatic cues – shifts in breathing and muscle tension can indicate a nonverbal no. Even if the Journeyer has asked for or consented to touch and you notice their body is saying no, they could be following a fawn trauma response, and you should interpret a somatic no or hesitation as a no.
Other ways to create a more supportive consent container include :
Education in self-attunement, the rightness of touch, and practice knowing and asserting boundaries and preferences {more detail in the book ‘Corporeal Consent’}
Videoing the session as an ‘external’ witness.
Having a second Spaceholder, or working in a group context.
11. Physically Supportive Presence
Focus : light direct or indirect touch to the extremities
Areas of Inquiry :
Would you like any indirect touch?
If so which of the following :
‘scalp massager’ / ‘head spider’, car buffer, Theragun
Soothing sensation play may also provide novel stimuli in case of looping and can include : feathering {petting someone with one or several feathers, especially on the face and neck}, petting skin with soft fabric / fur, and if in a high temperature locale spraying with a water mister {option of including essential oils after first making sure that the Journeyer does not have sensitivities or memories associated with any particular scents}.
Would you like any direct touch?
If so, which of the following {feel free to add more specifics} :
hand holding
touching the feet
holding the head
petting, combing, brushing hair or scalp
Would you like distance or hands-on demonstrations of massage or physical self soothing techniques ?
Suggestions : sharing a self-massage tool such as a massage cane {Theracane}, tennis / lacrosse ball, yoga ball, inversion table, or yoga swing.
12. Medium Touch
Focus : direct touch to all body parts, excluding genital or sexual stimulation.
Hand on the belly
Hand on the heart
Hug
Sitting back to back in contact to feel breathing.
Both laying on opposite sides backs touching to feel breathing.
Both laying on backs, side bodies touching to Journeyer’s level of comfort {could just be feet touching, all the way to both ribcages in contact or hands draped below around shoulders or behind neck}.
Journeyer’s head resting on Guides chest, listening to heartbeat {or vice versa}.
Both laying with sides touching the ground, one as big spoon, one as little spoon, curled in the fetal position.
12. High Touch / Heavy Contact / Embodiment Expertise
Focus : advanced somatic arts, with a prerequisite of preexisting rapport, trust, and high corporeal consent practices.
Areas of inquiry :
a. Human weighted / gravity blanket
Position options :
Journeyer laying on stomach, Guide partially draping chest or stomach over Journeyer sacrum.
For more weight, Guide sitting on Journeyer’s sacrum, with emphasis on weight dragging Journeyer’s sacrum down towards Journeyer’s feet.
For fully body compression, Journeyer lays on the stomach, sitter lays on top of them as human gravity blanket stomach down. This position might only be sustainable for a short time depending on the compression preferences of the Journeyer and relative weight ratios of the partipicants.
More intimate :
Journeyer lays on their back, Guide lays perpendicular with their heart over Journeyer’s stomach.
Journeyer lays on their back, blanket between, Guide lays parallel at slight diagonal or with head along the shoulder of Journeyer.
b. ‘Laying on of Hands’ / Energetic Work
Hands laid on the surface of Journeyer’s body where Journeyer wishes energy to go or be unblocked.
14. Bodywork
Focus : experimental evolving edge of therapeutic touch. These techniques should be used only with extreme caution, a pre-existing container of trust, rapport, clear communication skills, and deep education in corporeal consent.
a. Inversions
Either from a hard point or on the back of the Spaceholder {if they are trained in contact improv / SomaSenZ bodywork} are wonderful for providing a 180-degree shift in perspective. There are contraindications to inversions, so please do your research and consult the physical professionals in your life to make sure this is a safe choice for your embodied state.
b. Light / medium Bodywork / massage
Utilizing hands, elbows, and body in a manner aligning with training.
Working surface/fascia/top musculature of Journeyers body, 1-5 on an intensity scale of 1-10.
Assisted stretching / Thai-style massage may also be helpful. If a certain part of the body is having trouble relaxing have the Journeyer inhale while flexing that part and then exhale on the release, with the Bodyworker pushing into that part at the end of the exhale. Holding a point / limb and rotating around the axis of natural motion or shaking can also aid in steering a tense place into a relaxation response.
c. Bodywork surgery / bodywork ceremony
This deeper level of work requires more rapport and familiarity with the Journeyer’s body and tension-holding patterns. ‘Massage surgery’ is intended as a ‘non-incision’ restructuring and can involve old injury work and carries the heightened risks of more intensive bodywork. Much as ‘natural antibiotics’ such as garlic or oregano oil are still very powerful, this technique should be approached with respect and caution when other avenues have been exhausted.
d. Physical trauma release – no touch
Techniques such as Somatic Experiencing can go into intense memories and discharge the frozen nervous system reaction that is causing lingering trauma symptoms. This form will be described in more detail in the ‘Techniques’ section, and it is listed here as it is important to receive corporeal-based consent to do this work, as it involves setting up the space in a soft and safe manner.
e. Physical trauma release – touch through cushions / intermediate medium
When acting out the memories of the trauma, some scenarios may call for the use of body weight through cushions or another medium so that the muscles can work against resistance {such as pushing away someone or pushing off someone who was pinning you down in the memory}.
f. Physical trauma release – highly direct
Although it is recommended to try the no touch or ‘touch through a medium’ formats first in the hope that this conservative approach will result in improvement, the traumatized body may need to actively work many different somatic systems in a complex way to discharge the nervous system completely. This involves expert training in somatic trauma therapy and safe body handling and could result in injury to the Spaceholder. Forms of this work can include : wrestling, fighting, and in-depth re-enactments of traumatic memories but with the new repatterning of the Journeyers ‘successful’ win of fleeing, fighting, or expressing and causing the resolution to the threat {the Spaceholder ensuring that they ‘win’}. The utmost care and consideration should be taken to minimize harm / reduce risk to all participants through exquisitely clear communication, physical padding, spotters, safewords, etc. This is an experimental technique and could result in traumatization so should be used only if the Journeyer has a strong sense that it would aid them and all other methodologies have been attempted.